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Saturday, July 5th, 2003

Time:3:09 pm.
i am back because i want to be.

that is lame.

i am back because

i like it here.


today has been spent in halfsleep, reading Harry Potter, eating Devilled pasta, playing with pilchard, making love.

or was it fast, furious fucking? either way. i am satisfied. now just waiting on cones.

posting stuff in scar_myself because even tho i have stopped, have been thinking about it for a long time and although it may be sad, sick and pathetic, i want to keep hold of that rebellious, crazy part of me, to stop the numbness of my everyday life.

my fingers are curiously dry. scratchy dry, the skin on my fingerprints slip like talc over each other.

i am tired.
6 times i suck| you suck

Monday, March 24th, 2003

Time:11:13 pm.
i am really going to get violent if this is Beavis & Butthead.


you suck

Monday, September 30th, 2002

Time:11:07 am.
after a brief hiatus, i have decided to resume use of this journal. i stopped posting for a variety of reasons, namely Boredom.

or BoreDumb as i prefer to think.

i have consumed too much caffeine and my eyeballs now hurt.

how are you, how have you been?

forgive me if i don't post regularly. my life has taken on a ... er... life of its own and i am completely unable to stop the rollercoaster ride that i am dragged along on.

not that you could really call procrastination a rollercoaster ride, but hey... it's my life.

it is a beautiful day outside. sunshining and clear blue skies.

i have work to do... but isn't that always the case?
7 times i suck| you suck

Monday, May 6th, 2002

Time:1:30 am.
it seems that in my absence a few things have been happening in lj land.

first of all, i think it fair to warn you that i am systematically shutting this journal down.

i think its fair to say that i've had enough. briar_spider is too caught up in... other things? or something.

i want a forum to be creative, and play with words and experiment with my sense of self (and other such wanky goings on).

so. feel free to delete briar_spider from your friends list.

(i don't know what else to say?)
2 times i suck| you suck

Saturday, April 13th, 2002

Time:10:06 pm.
what is wrong with ICQ?
1 times i suck| you suck

Time:6:42 pm.

it is 6.41pm.
the sun has just set. the sky was pink and in a flurry of grey and sunset kisses just as i came up to the office. i can see it over the rooves of the apartments behind us.

it took me three hours to watch Chicken Run. kept on falling asleep, jerking awake, rewinding and watching... only to fall asleep again.

finished it eventually. lovely film.

Wallis and Grommit are so much better though.

feel so sleepy. what do you suggest?


going to order a small Works pizza (with jalapenos) from Magick. i know. its an indulgence, but hey. i can't be fagged. jed has gone to play computiewooties with his boyfriend, and i am fully intending to do hours of assignments/lesson prep for next week in hell.

this is my week:

Sunday- study. Complete Context & Philosophy assignment. Complete Health Lesson Plan. Complete Maths Lesson plan. start English Assignment.
Monday- Work on assignments, prep for Maths and health Lessons. Work on English Assignment. go to Mt Lawley campus to print out various assignments et al. Hire Marantz audio equipment. watch Sex in the city.
Tuesday- up early for Prac. Conduct mini maths activities. Health Lesson. Work on English Assignment. Watch Rove, LIVE!
Wednesday- uni. 9-1pm. Home by 2pm or so. work on English assignment.
Thursday- uni. 10-5pm. Home by 6pm. Finish English Assignment.
Friday- uni, 9-12. Hand in English assignment. study for Maths Assignment 2. Work, 4-8pm.
Saturday- work, 9-1pm. veg out.
Sunday- work on Maths Assignment.
Monday- Work on Maths assignment. work 4-8
Tuesday- Work on Maths Assignment. work 4-8
Wednesday- Hand in Maths assignment. Work 4-8
Thursday (ANZAC day)- GO DOWN SOUTH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! come back on monday night or tuesday morning...

then it starts all over again.


at least work is not an issue anymore. but i want to make sure i do really well for them and make them heaps of money, cos they are being so good to me... but its hard. ah well.

man. that is a lot of stuff to do in one week.
ah well. a good nights sleep tonight will work wonders. want to do loads of LJ-ing, also.

got results back for my first 2 assignments:
50% (Pass) in Maths. ARGH. i feel lucky that i did tho, considering that i barely did any work on it, and didn't include half of what some people who only got 2 marks more than me. have to conduct the two lessons in this tuesdays class.
68.5% (Distinction - scaled up) in English. *PHEW fucken WOO*. lots of positive lovely comments, lots of excellent feedback. feel sort of confident about what is expected of me for the Writing Plan.

Big Bad Basil spent the whole night outside last night. bad bad bad. jed said that she was asleep in his chair when he got up at 9am tho. which is good. but what a rascal, i spent about 20 minutes calling for her before i left for work this morning, and not a peep.
always leave the backdoor open for the cats to make their adventures into the great outdoors, so she must of snuck in after i left. bastard.

was supposed to do something. oh yeah, context assignment.

think i might retreat downstairs, order a pizza and watch some telly instead.



sometimes, i get so sad.
i just can't help myself. self indulgent prat.
1 times i suck| you suck

Time:6:37 pm.

my account expires soon.
you suck

Friday, April 12th, 2002

Time:10:40 pm.

Make Australia proud and take the "Which Australian State/Territory Are You?" Test

Created by


this is where i actually live... see the comment? PFFT FUCKING PFFT PFFT.

NOT MUCH TO SAY? wanker!
7 times i suck| you suck

Time:10:38 pm.

Make Australia proud and take the "Which Australian State/Territory Are You?" Test

Created by


haha. suggested by the effervescent ninjafeline. *kiss*
3 times i suck| you suck

Time:1:09 pm.
i feel like im at the start of something?

waiting waiting.

who knows.

im so bad. argh.
you suck

Time:1:09 pm.

i am so fucking bored/anxious.
you suck

Monday, April 8th, 2002

Time:12:39 am.

12 things that annoy you:
1. being tired
2. ridiculously hard work.
3. beautiful gay boys.
4. unwashed hair
5. dirty clothes
6. smelly public trainsport.
7. public transport in general.
8. those stupid lowcut teenyweeny jeans.
9. shakira
10. Bad kids tv shows.
11. nosy parents
12. the internet.

11 people you'd want to spend more time with:(no order)
1. Julie
2. tamsin
3. shannon
4. drew
5. blitzen and the animals.
6. my folks (when they are healthy/happy/nice)
7. jed.
8. michael
9. genevieve
10.Clare (without God, please)
11. myself. freed.

10 things you're looking forward to:
1. finishing this year.
2. sleep
3. seeing my horse and folks.
4. meeting people.
5. time to write.
6. owning a car
7. wearing a bikini in public.
8. Honours in Film theory. (one day, one day)
9. Graduating with this wonderful group.
10. Being a teacher - employment.

9 things you wear daily:
1. holey underwear
2. underwire bras.
3. hair band
4. earrings
5. vaseline
6. nivea
7. black (in some way or form)
8. sunglasses
9. shoes (can you tell im wracking my brain?)

8 movies you'd watch over and over:
1. Southpark
2. To Kill a MockingBird
4. Jaws
5. Seven
6. Aliens
7. The Black Stallion
8. Babe - Pig in the City

7 people you have kissed
1. jed
2. Tim
3. Jesse
4. Emma
5. Madeleine
6. simon
7. nameless faceless

6 objects you touch every day:
1. toothbrush
2. my body
3. my american flag pencil.
4. remote controls
5. light switch
6. jed. and the cats.

5 things you do every day:
1. feed the cats
2. feed the fish
3. water plants
4. stress/worry/consider/think
5. fantasise

4 foods that you couldn't live without:
1. bananas
2. pasta
3. peanut butter and jam sandwiches
4. sakata rice crackers and hommus

3 of your favorite songs at this moment:
1. hey baby hey - no doubt
2. that kylie minogue song
3. Chemical Heart - Grinspoon (this song is fucking aces, i was overwhelmed)

2 people that have influenced your life the most:
1. my dad
2. ... hmm. good questions. my friends? my lover? my fantasy? who knows.

1 person you could spend the rest of your life with:
1. "myself, eventually".. yeah. i can get along with myself the best of all.
2 times i suck| you suck

Tuesday, April 2nd, 2002

Time:6:48 pm.
cried like a maniac. re;university.

i don't understand this thing that im stuck in?
more work than ive ever experienced, and so fucken anxious. an anxiety that has diffused across time.
but its still there, and im so fucking stuck.

annnyway. i hate it.

just have to fucking knuckle down and not think of anything but finishing. thats all i can fucking think about, anyway.

dreaming, eating, sleeping university.

i feel insane.
absofuckinglutely surreal, dragging myself through whatever experience this is.



1 times i suck| you suck

Monday, April 1st, 2002

Time:3:24 am.

Take the What Kind of Slacker are you? Quiz

you suck

Time:3:17 am.
watched *Blow* tonight.

talk about a fucking come down.
6 times i suck| you suck

Time:2:59 am.
i forgot to mention that as i was walking out of the liquor store with an armful of beer on saturday afternoon, i ran into Beate, the Head of Journalism at my university.

we had a brief chatted while we waited for the lights to change to the little green man. she said, "so what are you doing now?"
i said, "Post grad teaching, up at Joondalup."
she said, "is that really what you want to be doing?"
i said, "er, i just want a career at this stage."



i was meant to say: TOO FUCKEN RIGHT, i wanna be a fucking teacher.

but at the moment i *hate* my course with a vengeance, don't really like my prac teacher (the kids are loverly tho) and i am so fucking tired all the fucking time, which i never experienced in Journalism, not even at the most hectic of times. (except for that yucky period, june 1999).

anyway. im sticking with this, despite being struck by the insane desire to quit every 2 hours... because...

well. because i have to do something don't i?

i think beate is disappointed. i was her star student. she put out SO much for me- more than any other tutor, more than is expected even for a primary school teacher.
she pushed me, encouraged me, scathed me, and was thrilled when things went right.

and now, ive quit journalism and fucked off to be a teacher, and i think she is disappointed in me?

sometimes, i wish i hadn't of done it. that instead of backing away into postgrad, i had tried and TRIED to do something with my degree. but no.

coward? or is it a safety net?

or something else?
what do you call it?

am i as crazy about kids now as i was 3 months ago?

and the answer to that folks, is yes.

but am i as crazy about teaching as i ever was about journalism?

and the answer to THAT is a decided FUCK OFF!

does anybody ever get it right?

not the first time, i know.

one day i will live in the country and write poems and books and breed beautiful horses and raise children the good old fashioned countrified way.
4 times i suck| you suck

Time:2:41 am.
o, tis april fools day.
2 times i suck| you suck

Time:2:39 am.
man. i ♥ my new icon. man.

and ??? at a certain person who has deleted me recently.

what, im not good enough? was there an explanation?

can not even text message him cos *that* option is friends only too.

bah @ YOU, mister.
9 times i suck| you suck

Time:1:32 am.
oh, i forgot to mention this... its a momentous occassion!!


Lesbian and Gay Pride WA Inc. invites you to a dance party celebrating
the passing of the Lesbian and Gay Law Reform Bill by the Western
Australian Parliament.
The party will be called seXES, a play on the word "success", and will celebrate our community's victory in achieving the best lesbian and gay law reform in Australia.
"The 2002 Pride Committee decided it couldn't wait to celebrate the
passing of this legislation," said Pride Party Convenor Daniel Smith."This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to celebrate the long-overdue achievement of equality."
"We're hoping all members of the gay and lesbian community will join us in what will be a spectacular celebration."
seXES will be held at the Globe Entertainment Complex on Saturday the 13th of April, with doors opening at 10pm.
Pre-sale tickets are priced at $15 for members and $25 for non-members and are on sale now to both members and non-members at Arcane Bookstore.
Tickets purchased on the door will cost $30.
seXES will have multi-level dance floors and a sponsored chill-out room. DJs currently confirmed for the event include Tasty, Dirty Den, Kinky, Jay Tim B,Judith Elund and JJ.

For more information, please contact Daniel Smith on 0422 258 444.

Looking forward to seeing you there!
1 times i suck| you suck

Sunday, March 31st, 2002

Time:12:30 pm.
man, the post below is so munted up.
what happened to it?
you suck

LiveJournal for Neon Ecstasy.

View:User Info.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.